


The Scent of Coffee

by agentx13



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: F/M, sharon carter month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:34:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23143255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentx13/pseuds/agentx13
Summary: Sharon's experiencing some bouts of nausea. The feeling is familiar...
Relationships: Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 29
Collections: Sharon Carter Month





	The Scent of Coffee

She has dreams about it sometimes. Even when she couldn’t remember why, she’d had dreams. She’d wake up feeling queasy. She’d hover in the bathroom, convinced she was about to throw up. She never did. Gradually, as her brain woke, the nausea cleared and she did her best to go about her day, trying not to think about it or what it might mean. Trying to remember that missing chunk of her life made her head hurt and her heart ache. Sam said she’d recover in time, but something in his voice betrayed him. It wasn’t just that he thought she wouldn’t remember, it was that he _hoped_ she wouldn’t.

She tried not to think too hard about that, either.

But now, here she is again, hovering in the bathroom. Steve is asleep still, but whenever she tries to lie down she feels hot, sweaty, nauseous. 

It happens eight nights in two weeks, more than enough for her to wonder if something’s wrong with her. But it usually goes away after a while. It isn’t like she’s caught a virus. There’s no one food that sets her off, though the smell of the coffee she makes for herself disgusts her to the point that she can’t drink it without feeling like she’ll vomit, even though she feels more run down than usual. Still, she doesn’t drink the coffee, so the coffee can’t be what’s making her feel ill.

She passes multiple children in strollers that week. She’s never noticed so many, but she doesn’t think about it. It’s just weird to her that there are so many babies around. But suddenly she can’t help but notice them and she can’t pinpoint why.

She throws up at work twice. It’s embarrassing, and she hates it. Hates how she knows an agent in the next stall heard it all and gave her concerned looks after.

That’s it, she thinks. I’m seeing a doctor.

She has a distrust of doctors. She never used to. But after Faustus, she refuses to go to someone related to SHIELD. She knows they’re probably fine, but even with therapy, it’s hard to trust SHIELD’s doctors again. She asks Natasha about doctors she recommends, keeping her voice offhand, and Natasha, her voice just as offhand, gives her some recommendations. Sharon makes an appointment while managing a mission and goes just as soon as she knows the team is safe.

She somehow isn’t surprised to see Natasha waiting for her when she leaves the doctor’s office, leaning against a motorcycle.

“Need a ride?” Natasha offers.

Sharon is dazed. She wants to think she can still focus on driving, on getting around, but her thoughts are disordered and the smell of hot dogs from a nearby cart makes her want to hurl. “I might throw up on you.”

Natasha shrugs and motions for Sharon to get on the bike. She does, and Natasha drives her home without a word. When Sharon gets off and hands Natasha her helmet, she can’t help but ask, “When did _you_ figure it out?”

Natasha stuffs the helmet in its carrier. “I don’t know what you mean,” she says, her voice offhand. “Let me know how it goes. If you want.”

“I will,” she assures her. Because Natasha doesn’t ask for friendship, but the fact remains that the two of them _are_ friends.

Natasha nods and jets off, and Sharon turns and steels herself to break the news to Steve. She’ll walk in the door, she thinks, and blurt it out. Just come out with it, get it done with.

He isn’t there.

He isn’t there in the next hour. She busies herself cleaning. Washing out the coffee pot sends her gagging. Orders some yogurt from the store around the corner. She eats five containers before he finally arrives.

He looks at the empty containers. “You okay?” he asks, confused. She isn’t typically a yogurt person, not when there’s coffee available.

“I’m pregnant,” she tells him. She wants it to sound victorious, proud, but her voice breaks before she can finish and she bursts into tears. She was never meant to remember the last time she got pregnant, but she remembers it all too well, and she’s terrified. Dying is nothing to this. She’s prepared to die, has been for most of her life. But pregnancy, with all that can go wrong, with all _she_ might do to screw it up, with all their enemies out there…

They talk for hours. It’s late when she finally calls Natasha to officially give her the news and tell her that Natasha is going to be the godmother, because no one’s more likely to come back from death than Natasha.

It turns out to be a mistake – Natasha is worse about taking care of her and the baby than Steve is – but it isn’t a mistake that she minds making.

This time won’t be like last time, she knows. She has friends, she has support, she’s safe. She’s not a captive. She’ll remember this time. She’ll protect her child, raise her child, be able to love and hold them like she couldn’t last time.

No, this time will be different.

God, she can’t wait until she can drink coffee again.


End file.
